i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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