I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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