He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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