Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+61): View more from Australia

i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be

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(225): View more from Louisiana

But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.

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(305): View more from Florida

Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.

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(408): View more from California

I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.

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(734): View more from Michigan

he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'

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(304): View more from West Virginia

What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?

(859): View more from Kentucky

i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.

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(647): View more from Ontario

That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.

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(607): View more from New York

I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is

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