HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
