Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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