I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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