did you get engaged???
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize