I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
