i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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