That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
