I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
