I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
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There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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