tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
