Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
