i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
