i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
