): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
