i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
