Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They have beer where we have blood.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
