Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
