i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
