today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
