do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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