And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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