like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
