well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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