I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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