Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You took a bar mat shot.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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