nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
