We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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