i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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