.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
