i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize