Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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