just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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