I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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