I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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