i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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