Even the bartender felt bad for me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
