I don't think brook has ever known best
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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