im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
