He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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