I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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