Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk