You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sobbing to NWA