Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains