I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
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i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
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Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND