and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
