wat bout pragnant strippers??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
