i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
