belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
