Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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