I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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