Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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