I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
