you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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