id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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