so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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