the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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