your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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