i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
