Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
