im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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