Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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