Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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