You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
