the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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